Surely the Lord Is In This Place and I Did Not Know It

I remember vividly those first moments I spent holding each of my children after they were born. My wife gave birth to all three of our kids by caesarean, so there was always about an hour after my wife had been stitched up and was in recovery, where I would be waiting & holding our new little bub. On each occasion, it was a time of being overwhelmed by the experience.

And I would mostly be unable to speak. I would teeter on the brink of laughter and of crying. And every time I looked up at any of my family on the other side of the glass – I was told – I was simply beaming from the experience of holding such a perfect & serene little one.

Do you think in those moments I was trying to rationally work out what was happening to me  ? – No ! I was simply & profoundly overwhelmed with the wonder of this first and long awaited meeting with this captivating little one.

When I reflect back, there was definitely something vulnerable & unguarded about me in those moments. In my humility, I opened myself up to something mostly beyond words, the experience of which I can only describe as pure & sacred.

Suddenly, the idea of Almighty God poured out into the package of the Babe born in Bethlehem becomes comprehensible and totally accessible. 

It reminds me of that episode in Genesis where Jacob is out in the desert. He has just been sent away by his father Isaac – for stealing the birthright of his older brother Esau. It is night and he falls asleep on the hard ground using a stone as his pillow.

And Jacob has this amazing dream. You can imagine the vividness of this dream because Jacob is tossing and turning – using a stone as his pillow. In this dream, Jacob sees a ladder reaching from the ground all the way up to heaven with angels ascending and descending. And the Lord God stands beside Jacob and says,

“I shall make the number of your offspring like the very dust of the earth… know that I am with you and will keep you where ever you go… for I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you…” Then Jacob wakes up from his sleep – feeling overwhelmed and afraid. He says, “Surely the LORD is in this place and I did not know it… how awesome is this place. This is none other than the house of God and this is the gate of heaven.”

When we allow ourselves to be pierced and disarmed by the babe of Bethlehem – awe and wonder are our first and most appropriate response. This is none other than the house of God and this is the gate of heaven…

Paying Attention

“There are times when I feel transparent – almost invisible. It is a fragile state in which I am diminishing. I have this feeling of being stretched so thin, of being insipid, diluted – a lite version of me. It is like speaking in a crowd and the conversation continues right through me – no one hearing. It is like being one of the weathered, nameless ones, appearing at my car window begging & when sated, blending right back into the shadowlands. Where did she go ?”

“The transparency of God… Abraham Heschel says that life passes on in close proximity to the sacred, “You are not alone, you live constantly in holy neighborhood: remember: ‘Love thy neighbor – God – as thyself.’” The accessibility of God, God drawing near – holiness moving in next door”.

“The discipline of transparency is positional. It implies sensitivity to place & openness to otherness in close proximity. It has that sense of vibrating in tune, of being immersed, enveloped and eventually becoming at ease and purposeful there. It is relationally significant yet non-threatening – reflective yet non-judgmental”.

“Transparency has that sense of being pores & permeable – of light passing through the thing uninterrupted. Relationally it risks greater vulnerability and exposure of self”.

“Transparency pragmatically embraces truth; not so much truth – universal & immutable but truth – local and dynamic. It is at ease with a reality that is pitted, asymmetrical & irregular. I think transparency is a choice – I choose to be present, I choose to be open, I choose to immerse myself & to allow myself to be penetrated & shaped by this place !”

“As for those others dwelling out on the margins – disempowered and vulnerable - the anonymity of transparency is a discipline of necessity & survival”.

I remember when I penned these words I had been living in South East Asia just a few short months. Almost daily I was being overloaded with exotic and unfamiliar experiences in my new home. As I looked about me I saw people who were marginal and poor using transparency as a survival strategy. I was fascinated by it.

At the same time I encountered the idea in the writing of Thorleif Boman. He was suggesting the idea of ‘transparency’ as a theological expression that more accurately captures the way God’s presence and activity is revealed in the world. I was also in the process of reflecting on Jacques Derrida’s usage of the Abraham’s attempted sacrifice of Isaac and the Tower of Babel as metaphors in his philosophical wonderings. Abraham struck me as a person who understood this idea of ‘transparency’ as he wandered about as an alien in the world.

I think it is time to revisit this practice of transparency ! I suspected it was a missional practice in South East Asia. It is time to see if it has currency back at home.

He Who Saves One Life, Saves the World Entire

Living life naked and exposed in the presence of God himself. I think this is what Jesus has in mind in his teaching of the Sermon on the Mount… why it is so demanding. We are not merely talking about Jesus giving new order to the parameters of Jewish religious life or even temple worship, but the Spirit of God being granted access and transforming all areas of life. Anything that has God in such close proximity is deeper, wider and higher than ordinary living.

You see when we dwell in close proximity to the Scriptures, when we turn them over again and again, when look back over their writing down through the ages – something becomes very clear. God has priorities. God desires some things more than he desires others…   

Like the time Jesus calls Matthew the tax collector. Jesus is sitting eating a meal openly with a number of tax collectors and other social outcasts. Some Pharisees are walking by and they ask Jesus’ disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with those kinds of people ?” And Jesus, hearing what they are saying, turns to them and replies, “Go and learn what this means, ‘I desire mercy not sacrifice’”. 

Jesus says this because as a good Jew who had memorised the Torah, word for word – Jesus knows God’s priorities. God desires mercy more than he desires sacrifice. God desires compassion more than he desires contemplation. God desires our hearts more than he desires our intellectual ascent.

Why ? Because the goal of life isn’t purity and holiness – that’s a by-product. The goal of life is an intensity of living, a fullness of life, concretely focused into habits of action that help to repair the brokenness of a hurting world. It’s like the Jewish Talmud says, “He who saves one life, saves the world entire.”

Day After Day Pours Forth Speech

The lite touch of God’s glory in the world is like the unexpected arrival of rain. Suddenly, leaves are dipping involuntarily in asymmetrical acknowledgement of its presence – a persistent shower giving lustre to the world & heightening awareness. 
 
The Psalmist says that, “day after day pours forth speech and night after night declares knowledge… of the glory of God – yet there is no speech nor are there words…” While the lite touch of God’s glory is ever present, the sense of its arrival is always subtle. It builds in degrees, inhabiting the peripheral of vision or the graduated silences out on the edges of constant noise. 
 
That our vision and hearing are dim to its arrival is witness to our routines of busyness and distraction.  
 
That the activity of God’s glory in the world shapes our daily situation is beyond question. Glory lends intention to secret acts of mercy and kindness. Glory intensifies hope and endurance when the real is all too abrasive & unfriendly, Glory makes forgiveness the unthinkable possibility that dances in the midst of a hurting relationship At its most compelling the Glory of God ignites a passion for justice that burns & is vigilant, restless & creative.
 
When the dipping dance of the leaves ceases, the enduring effect of rained out rain is that cleansing wetness that soaks into every crack & crevice – absorbed into pores of everything it touches. 
 
Drips hanging like jewels are the multitude of mundane moments touched by the finger of God.

The World Breaks Everyone

‘Myanmar Refugees’, May 2008

We live in a fallen world – a world where we fall often and hard… a world where survival depends on learning to get back up again.  There is harshness, rawness – an ever so sharp edge to just plain living. When the elemental forces of nature gather, concentrate suddenly and unleash their power, people perish in great numbers. This is life annihilated, extinguished without meaning.  Survivors stand on the edge of a great abyss & question the very presence of God in the world,

“How could a God of mercy & compassion, the very ruler of the universe allow such a thing to happen ?”

The fragility of life on this ball of rock we call Earth, hurtling moment by moment through space. The invisible forces that hold it in relation to the sun in such a way that biological life is sustainable – mostly not too hot and not too cold – that is as amazing as it is precarious. Indeed that there is life on this planet in the midst of the vast darkness & coldness of space is a miracle. I like what Ernest Hemingway says about suffering. He says,

“The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry…”

There is an inherent vulnerability and weakness in living. Yet it is also built into us to fight and resist almost to the last breath. It is our survival instinct – the quickening that courses through our veins whenever we are in proximity to death.  The truth of life is its tenacity, its vigor in the face of death. Maybe that’s what it means to stamped with the image of God.

The good news of the Scriptures is that the suffering of people invokes the pathos of God.

God says to Moses, “I have observed the suffering of my people… I have heard their cry… I know their sufferings and I have come to deliver them…”.

The good news is God hears the cries of the suffering ones. God is not an abstraction dwelling in the lonely splendor of eternity. God is concretion itself – present and accessible – suffering alongside his people. 

Small Boat, BIG Sea…

We all live on margins of chaos. Like Noah floating on waters cocooned in his boat, we too create microcosms of order and pray to our Maker for preservation. To dwell on the edge for a while pushing outwards, encountering difference violently rams chaos back into our imagination – shocking, even paralysing creative, playful action.   



When Peter stepped out of the boat it was two steps beyond the reason of a smart fisherman. It was an illogical step towards a dangerous Jesus who was filling that place with His glory & their boat with water. It was also a second step towards encountering Jesus on his terms. In that place a fisherman can walk on water. Yet we read that fear overtakes Peter. He ‘noticed the strong wind’ & was overwhelmed by a fisherman’s chaos. Suddenly Peter is the wily fish catcher being swallowed by an angry sea.
 


Jesus presence out on the lake expands & intensifies in the storm and though this movement is towards the Holy – towards otherness – he is never out of reach. The overwhelming compassion of Jesus is the redemptive action that restores equilibrium, brings back peace – calms the storm. 
 


The patience of God & the opportunity of another chance…
 
How often am I limited by what I believe without question ? When newness & difference draws near, intensifying feeling to anxiety & fear, so often I retreat back into the safety of the known. During those times I am conservative & less perceptive. I hang on tightly to structure & boundaries until I fight chaos back to the margins.
 


The story of a leaky boat and BIG waters says there is a tension in being a Jesus follower. Beyond Rock and Redeemer – the safe and familiar Jesus is forever restless, intense & dangerously Holy. Sometimes he compels us to experience his Grandeur through all 5 senses with the volume turned right up – like a splinter in the imagination.
 


Six times this rather annoying narrative appears in the gospels. Each time Jesus rises up and the followers of Jesus retreat back. How many times must such story be told ? Seventy times seven ? 
Until his disciples find courage to STAY & embrace missional action !